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Monthly Archives: April 2014

Respect for others comes from having respect for myself

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So I’m reading The Halfling’s Gem: The Legend of Drizzt, Book VI. In it, I read a quote about one character in the story. It says, “What keeps Captain Deudermont safe is his ability to show respect for anyone he meets. … He grants respect at the outset of a meeting and continues that respect until the person forfeits it.”

I think that this is what I do. And I think that this is the reason why people like me. I’ve often wondered why people take a liking to me. I often think to myself that I am nothing special. Why do some people seem to be so strongly drawn to me or even so impacted? And i believe it’s because I have respect for people.

It also must be something from their end as well. For instance, I assume that perhaps people often encounter others that don’t freely give them respect. So when they meet me, and I give them respect, they realize that they’ve been given something from me that is sometimes unobtainable from others.

And I know that the second part of the quote is true. I recently had a teacher at school that I thought very highly of because he was very knowledgeable and intelligent. However, one particular class, the teacher started making veiled sexual references during a demonstration he was doing. I might have ignored it all except the teacher called out to me and asked if I wanted to participate in the demonstration. He was basically asking me if I wanted to participate in this sexualized activity. I declined.

At that, I lost respect for the instructor. I felt in his participation in the lewd jokes, that he was giving in to a desire to fit in with the other guys and appear to be cool. He had joined in with the other guys’ comments as a way to seen like one of them. I could understand his desire to fit in, because many of the guys made jokes about him. But he shouldn’t have given in. So I took away my respect for him.

Anyways, as I read this quote in the book, these thoughts came to me.

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Where I’m at

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So it’s been awhile since my last post.

A lot has changed.

I separated from my wife in August 2011.

We divorced a year later in August 2012.

I had FFS in November of 2012 with Dr. Mark Zukowski in Chicago.

I attempted to commit suicide in Jan 2013.

And then I moved to Arizona to start school at the Motorcycle Mechanics Institute in April 2013.

It’s now April 2014, I’ve been here a year, and I plan to graduate December 5th of this year!

It’s been quite a ride, to say the least.


MMI